Okay, I have a really good sense of humor where my family name is concerned. I mean, I understand that unless it’s something like Smith, Leahy or even, you know, Russo…it’s a challenge. But seriously give me a break here. My family name is spelled exactly as it sounds ‘Della Piana’. No, it’s not De La Piana. There’s no pause between Della. Okay?

The other night brought a new twist to my family name in the form of a certificate of achievement given to Thalia. Yes, something even I have not seen yet. Not only was the appearance of this certificate of achievement a couple of months late because it sat in Thalia’s book bag, but the name on the certificate was very adventurous, as you can see, because it was awarded to Thalia Dellapenia. Yep, just one change in letter and she could have been Thalia Dellapenis.

It’s not like she’s new at Amesbury Middle School. In fact, next year will be her last year in Amesbury Middle School before she moves onto high school. It’s not like they don’t have files to consult. They sure know how to spell it when they’re sending home bad reports or warnings, I might add.

Check this out, I had to go up to the school to pick Thalia up after school, which meant I had to check in at the office. So, I think I might have actually dealt with the person who made out the certificate today. I’m standing there and this older woman asks if she can help. I told her I needed to pick up Thalia and she was in homeroom 305. She gets on the the phone right in front of me with the correct name pulled up on her computer screen. Here’s what she says:

“Hi, this is Mrs. WTF, is Talia Del Penia there?”

Yeah, Talia (as in Shire). Ugh. Del Penia. Are you fucking kidding me? I just kept telling myself, “Bite your tongue, Della Piana. Don’t get too sarcastic on the first day of school.” But WTF, can’t these people even read a name off the computer screen? They work at a freakin’ school. I knew the other woman behind the desk really well and even she couldn’t believe this woman couldn’t read the name. She had her arms raised in the air and was shaking her head as she was listening to her. I started laughing. I was secretly hoping that Thalia would refuse to answer to the name on the other end because she hates having her name mangled as well.

Walking out, I asked Thalia how often this happens. Her only reply was, “You have no idea, ma.” Actually, I do.